Happy Birthday to my first born Jack
Jack's Story
To tell Jack's story I have to tell Paul and my story and the story of Sophie. After we were married for 1 1/2 years we decided it was "time". I thought once you got married YOU decided when you were ready to have children and boom you would get pregnant. WRONG. God is in control. I have learned God knows far better than I what I need and He is amazing at giving good gifts! We did not get pregnant. What followed was 2 very painful years of trying on our own and with help of doctors to get pregnant. We were never given a reason as to why we couldn't get pregnant. There were times Paul would find me on the floor of the would be nursery crying my eyes out. There were times I would get sooooo angry that Paul wasn't as emotional as me. I later came to realize that all I had ever wanted was to be a mom. So, for me, when became parents I would give up my "career" and stay home. Paul wanted to be a dad, but his day to day wouldn't look as different as mine. He would still go to his job. This makes sense to me :)
We began to look into adoption and some friends who had adopted invited us to an Adoptive Parent support group. When we went I realized there was hope. I may not know when I was going to be a mom, but I knew one day I would be a mom. I also realized my dream was not be pregnant, but to be a mom. I just assumed I needed to get pregnant to be a mom :) That was August of 2000. We got our Lifebook ready and turned in in Sept. and I got "the call" from Cheryl(from our adoption agency) in Oct. that a birthmom had picked us. We were THRILLED. I still remember exactly where I was when the call came. I was driving and had to pull over in a parking lot in Broken Arrow. We met with the teenage birthmom and birthdad in Nov. and even had them come over for dinner and see the house and baby stuff. She gave birth on Jan. 19th, 2001 to Sophie Grace :) She was beautiful! We had her in the hospital and took her home and then we got the other kind of "call". The "call" that rips your heart out and stomps all over it. She wanted her back. How can I blame her? I can't. I was not mad at the mom or dad, just so incredibly sad. Our friends came over and got us and drove us to the hospital and I carried Sophie back in and handed her to her mom. My normally even keeled husband literally punched the wall. I just shut down for about a week. I couldn't talk to anyone but Paul. (and the store clerks that took my credit card). Paul was kind and let me work through it the way I did, but when it was all said and done, asked that I not ever use credit cards as therapy again. On a side note. We talked to the mom afterwards and asked what they had decided to name her and they kept the name we gave her.
We get another "call" from our adoption agency a week later asking if we want a baby boy being born in April. The birthmom didn't want to meet us or know us. At first I said NO! But, we called back and said yes. I was so nervous. Well, on Feb.12th I was lecturing about President Wilson at Jenks High School to a room full of 10th graders and I got a "call" in my room. It was Cheryl from the agency saying there was another women in labor right then and did we want to come to the hospital and be parents. YES!! This was less than 4 weeks from when we lost Sophie. This gets confusing: So, since we hadn't met the one birthmom due in April, Cheryl decided that our baby was the drop in baby due NOW. I left my classroom that day and never went back. Turns out it was false labor and they send her home. I was a nervous wreck. We did find out that it was a baby boy and began frantically trying to come up with a name. On Feb.14th, Paul and I pray before he heads to work. I prayed and asked God if the baby could be my Valentine and not 10 min. later the phone rang that "A" (the birthmom) was headed to the hospital. We jump in the car and beat her there. We met her for a few minutes in the waiting room and then we waited.............. Jack Isaac Tryggestad was born on Feb.14th around 1:00p.m. Jack means God is gracious and Isaac means laughter or child of promise. We were outside the delivery room and I heard "A" say to him as she held him for the first time "It is time to go meet your mommy". They wheeled him out and he stayed with us from then on out. "A" did come down to our room one more time with "J" (birthfather)to hold him before they left. They opted for no contact and we have not heard from them since then. For them it was too painful for contact. I know how to find them when he turns 18 if he wants to find them.
I don't think I'll ever truly grasp why we had to go through losing Sophie, but I do know that if we had been Sophie's parents, we would not have Jack and I can't imagine my life with out him. (I did have a conversation with God begging Him to not let me go through losing a child again)
Jack is an amazing boy--turning into a man. God has big plans for Jack. He is a leader and he loves the Lord. I am so blessed to be his mom and get to watch him grow up!
